Rwanda: Final Words

I'll try to keep this brief.

The last week has been a rollercoasters of lows, some not-so-lows, and even lowers. I don't really want to get into the nasty, confusing details, so I won't. Let's just say it has been tumultuous, confusing, and cry-inducing, and I'd rather focus on more pleasant thoughts.

My last days at work were alright. They were steeped in my own emotional turmoil, but I was fortunate to find the love and comfort of my former colleagues, who braved through the storm with me as much as they could.

I bartended at the Dutch Embassy's Residency in Kigali on Queen's Day for a friend's catering company. I came donned in my little bartending outfit, and my students joined me in what was our first and last time working together as a work team. They did pretty well, considering. And the party was good, but I have to admit...the Dutch folks who came were rude and a bit overbearing. And especially when they had thrown back a handful of beers and/or wines and/or whatever. I was shocked by some of their behavior by the end of the night, and we had to really put our foot down and say, "Knock it off!" to them. I felt like riot control on tap - they wouldn't let us pack up after the party ended!



Denise threw a sending off party for me a few days before I left. Her and a few folks from work put together the food (Mexican buffet, aka make your own tortilla), and I basically waited for it to begin. I mean, we went and bought the food, but really I did little...

And the party went really well! About 30 people ended up showing and saying goodbye to me. I even got a few lovely, African gifts from some of my friends here. I truly feel love and missed already. We drank and ate and laughed, and I even met some new faces!

People asked me what I would miss about Rwanda, and I realized that the people in the house were what I'd miss the most. That really has made being in Rwanda worthwhile at all. They also asked me what I was looking forward to in the US, and I had a nice long list of things...

The day before I left, Denise and I ran a few of my last-minute errands. Money exchange, cash handling, last-minute shopping, etc...you know, what you do before a big move (again). I got to ride the motos and really take a look around Kigali. You know, it's really not that bad, I thought. The scenery seemed more colorful, almost. The people a bit sweeter. I got a little nostalgic, thinking I probably won't be here again for a very long time...

And can you imagine? I had to come to Africa to learn how to be girly and pamper myself! I got my nails done for the sister's wedding in a day or two. I think people at the saloon were fascinated with me, because I was fascinated! I never had had a pedicure before, and I sat staring at what the woman was doing to my feet. Now, I'm one of those people who don't enjoy getting touched on the feet that much, and it was a bit difficult to let her go on with her job...one particular moment that everyone at the saloon witnessed was when the woman grabbed a scrubbing paddle very purposefully, grabbed my foot, and started sawing away at my soles. I shrieked! Part out of shock, and surprise, and part out of horror. But it was also kind of nice! I haven't had such pretty, soft feet in a long time. Oh, and I watched with a gaping mouth at the black women getting their hair weaved or relaxed. I'm learning so much about being a black woman - I wonder if that will ever come to use...

My last evening included good sushi, two glasses of wine, and some Karaoke! This seems to be a common last night event for me; I did this in Paris for my last night, as well! And I sang Amy Winhouse's "Back to Black", and got quite a loud ovation. But I went home finally, to finalize my packing and try to calm down a bit about the travel. I started to feel a bit bittersweet for leaving this place...

But any sense of missing or pleasant, positive thouhts I had about leaving this place was ripped out of my system as soon as I got to the airport. I was nervous about check in, and I prayed and prayed beforehand to have a smooth layover. But, in Africa, rarely is anything easy. Apparently RwandAir's system was in a funk the moment I stepped up to the check-in booth, because the man's eyebrows furled and cross and raised and made all kinds of dance moves while staring at the screen. After about 20 minutes of waiting, he finally admits to me that my luggage cannot go straight through to JFK. My connecting flight with South African Airways in Johannesburg was too much for the system (or perhaps the man) to take, and he decided to manually input my luggage to be dropped off in Johannesburg.

What does that mean for me? Well, I am the lucky fellow who, during her layover in South Africa, has to leave the airport (customs and everything) like an arrival, and check back in all over again! I have to get my boarding pass AND my luggage out of the airport. Go out, go back in. Oh joy - I get to take my shoes off and remove all of the items from my carry on all over again. I pannicked and called some customer service from SAA for advice, and he swore about how it was the other airline's mistake in full, and that he was sorry, but I would have to go through the whole ordeal before getting on the 16-hour trek home. At least I have a 5-hour layover, right?

And, of course, as soon as I went through the security point did I find out that - no - there are no toilets beyond security at the gates. So I went back and forth through security detectors and X-rays to make sure my bladder would be satisfied before the 4-hour jaunt to the bottom of Africa.

So, I always enjoy reminiscing and reflecting a bit about the places I have been. While a lot has happened to me (for better or worse) here, and I feel like a lot of Rwanda has been difficult for me (it now comes with a lot of baggage), I want to continue my tradition. SO! Final (current) thoughts about Rwanda:

1. Strange Norms: Rwanda has conflicting societies. You'll see newly-minted mansions with lush gardens juxtaposed above a pile of ramshackle shanties, and little children wearing rags tapping on cell phones. This is a place that wants so badly to be developed, but struggles with the incredible disparity between their uber rich and uber poor.
2. Discrimination: Rwanda has discrimination problems, still. I am not just talking about myself being crowned local Mzungu or Western trash. I am not also just talking about the still-apparent Hutu vs. Tutsi tensions. But there's also a discrimination problems between Rwandans themselves. It is funny to see how sometimes they are just as inhospitable to their neighbors as they are to strangers. This is noticeable through the swathe of orphanages they have; for such a small country, they've got a lot.
3. Genocide: I will not be the first to say that The 1994 Genocide is still a hot topic here. It's almost like a daily part of life for everyone. Everything is pre-1994 and post-1994, itseems. And it is almost like everyone still has a chip on their shoulder - and, of course, understandably so. But it'snot gone...definitely not. The most incredibly sad thing I felt when being in Rwanda was that the trauma was so palpable for everyone who was in Rwanda during The Genocide that they seem to have a great amount of developmental problems. When I hung out with Rwandans who left during that time, I felt a sense of comfort and relation to them - it was easy to converse with them. However, those that stayed and witnessed the atrocities...I think it did something to their psyche that is so far beyond my comprehension it's unnerving. Sometimes I felt like I was looking into vacant space. So many of them haven't been able to grow or develop past 1994 (my students so often acted like middle schools, which is about right). It's clearly noticeable on the street, and in the working world; while those who left have degrees and manage companies, those who stayed now drive cars or wash laundry. And that seems to be a new resentment - those who left versus those who stayed.
4. Walking: Rwandans know how to walk. They go up and down hills like champs. While expats ride in vehicles, Rwandans walk. Everywhere. And it's quite a scene to see rush hour, when the sidewalks are brimming with suits and dresses and farmers holding hoes and machetes. Lots of farming equipment is hauled up and down all over the place.
5. Food: Rwandans have a lot to learn about culinary arts. All I have to say is, there is more to food than boiled stuffs, salt, and hot sauce.
6. Geography: The hills here really are fantastic to view. And I was surprised at just how cool it could get in Africa, near the equator.
7. Corruption: It's not a cultural norm for Africans (or Rwandans) to lie per se, but a lot do, religiously. And it makes it very difficult to progress, because you never are quite sure what's right or if the hood has been pulled over your eyes.
8. Government and Freedom: Like it or not, Rwanda is a military state. It took a long time to get used to the habitual presence of military everywhere I went. Police and soldiers line the streets with big guns, and that's just how it is. Everyone whispers about certain things, and I know certain sites have been blocked for reasons I cannot quite comprehend. Certain things just don't happen because the red tape is thick and impenetrable. And those who may speak up or get out of line, disappear. Or go to jail. It really makes me understand that, you know, America isn't all that bad. I look forward to speaking up and complaining about government officials again.
9. Africa: Rwanda isn't all of Africa. I know, I know...big revelation, Kim. But, really. People always clump African countries together, and I am here to tell you that it doesn't work like that. My Ugandan friends would go crazy in certain situations during my stay in Rwanda. And South Africans would sigh with a sense of sadness at the poor customer service. I met Congolese who were pretty incredible people, and Tanzanians that were fun with a hint of awkward. Rwanda is its own flavor, and I guess this is one of the reasons why people fall in love with the whole continent. The flavors are vast.
10. Expats: I learned a lot about Africa in general. The last one I want to share is...there are many types of expats in Africa. Some expats come to Africa and hate it, and they leave right away. Some expats come to Africa and love it, and they stay forever. Some expats come to Africa and tolerate it for the good pay. Some expats come to Africa and find it like a mercurial friend - they come sometimes and go often, but don't stay too long because otherwise they might go nuts. But they feel something for Africa, it's just not necessarily unrelenting love. I think I am the latter.

What will I miss? The friends that I made, and riding on motorcycles to work. The green hills, and the giraffes.

What won't I miss? Well, I think I've made a lot of that clear already in my past thoughts...