On Corruption and Double Standards

It was bound to happen someday. I tried very hard to avoid writing about it, but I have to. Corruption. It's everywhere. I know, I know, what else is new, Kim? But I don't think I'm talking about the kind of corruption most people think about.

My Ugandan colleague always shouts out, "This is corruption!" Whether it's someone taking an extra chip off of a plate, or it's someone who didn't answer her after she asks them something. It's all very tongue in cheek. As I am.

Anyways, I'm talking about the corruption in the people.

While, yes, there is always corruption on a more institutional level, people in their daily lives exude corruption on a very subliminal level. And it all boils down to one word: Sorry.

Sorry sorry. Oh, sorry.

At least as far as I've seen, sorry has been turned from a genuine meaning into something else. Instead of someone only saying, "I'm sorry" when they mean it after they made a mistake, the word sorry is used for any type of mishap. And it's not really said with a heartfelt tone of true regret; it's said more like when I say "Hmm...oh well."

When I trip over a power cable. Sorry!

When I tell someone something unfortunate that happened to me. Oh, sorry.

When I want something in a restaurant but it's not available, nor is anything else that I want to order. Mmm sorry.

When a store or service provider completely messes up with me and has no intention of fixing the problem. Sorry sorry sorry...

When someone has lied to me blatantly and totally went back on their word. Ah, sorry.


This is awkward. Sorry.......

I wouldn't really be surprised if someone were to greet me with the word "sorry" on the street, just to say "hello".

Why is this corruption? Because people use it all of the time to also mask their mistakes or lies. And so it means nothing. They don't really feel bad about wronging you, or lying. It's just part of their culture, they say. You just don't understand. They'll lie to you thirty ways to Sunday, and the word "sorry" coats every word that comes out of their mouth.

This isn't just the local population who partake in this corruption. No no, anyone who's been here a year or more is culpable. I've met a good load of expats who have said "sorry" to me in the same tone of indifference.

And people are always late. They will promise to be on the dot, or to meet you on a day, but more often than not, they either show up 30+ minutes late, or they don't even bother to show up. Especially if it's raining; if there's a drop in the sky, whatever plans you may have planned or solidified will automatically cancel. Because the rain messes up the dirt roads and most people either walk or use the motorcycle taxis to get places. But don't ever expect a message telling you to stay home in time - you probably already arrived and are waiting for them to show up. Don't worry - they won't.

There are more water issues in the house. I am currently feeling disgustingly sticky at my desk, wishing that any water poured through our faucets today. But alas, the other house has somehow managed to monopolized our water system. This is also corruption, in the piping.

And who cannot forget the corruption in so many NGOs?! But I think I might have already made that point before...just as a recap! NGOs are always talking about all of the good and empowerment they bring to the communities in which they serve. But what they don't tell you is just how much they exploit their employees. How they either abuse free labor (60-hour work week, anyone?), or give a meager stipend and plan on your selling your blood for them on the black market. Understaffed, overworked, and un-empowered. I feel oftentimes like the very work they do on the field, they undo in the office.

Anyways, of course I'm having a laugh at some of this. If you don't see it, then you're goofy. But honestly, if I hear the word "sorry" again from my students, I'm going to rip my bra.

Now, onto double standards....holy Moses!

Let me just list the double standards, and you can do the majority of thinking and questioning for yourself.

• I'm in a place that has banned plastic bags, but the car pollution is abhorrent. Imagine being behind any vehicle on the road and getting black smog blown in your face. Every. Day.
• I'm in a place where they grow fresh, organic produce, but no one eats it raw. They boil the hell out of them, or pour corn oil on everything. Ask anyone here their favorite foods, and they'll either say french fries, or meat.
• I work where the people have no idea how to use a toilet (I'm serious - we had to have a workshop on toilet usage), but they all have a Facebook account and have mastered tapping on an iPhone.
• I'm in a continent where they boast education and empowerment of the people, but I think probably most of the people here are hired as help at home, or security. Even my students have maids and guards, sometimes.
• I'm in a place where everyone wants to go to school, but no one wants to work or study.
• I'm in a place where most people are very religious (and often strictly religious), but most people also know how to throw back a hefty amount of beer and booze.
• I'm in a place where people want to buy fancy things and eat fancy meals, but refuse to pay for things like water, or soap...or deodorant. Please, everyone....please wash yourselves. The lack of deodorant in this place is...frightening.

Anyways, there are a lot of nice things here, too, even with all of my whining and griping. The birds are still wondrous, and the flowers are bright and colorful. And people really are quite kind and willing to help out. Even yesterday some man picked me up off the side of the road and drove me where I was going, even though a bit out of his way, because he said he was part of a "social agreement" to never abandon someone on the side of the road. It was very kind, and cut my journey by 45 minutes or so. And I have had moto drivers try to help me with my Kinyarwandan when negotiating prices. And the babies are adorable, and the women chuckle when I ogle over the sweet plump infants they hold. And my students are really sweet and loving people, studying and school aside...

It's not all thorns and bristles, honestly; I just feel like so often people talk only about the fantastic, glorious parts of living as an expat ("...and I've like practically adopted 3 orphans and they are the most darling things and wouldn't you know I get mangoes fresh off of the tree from a sweet old stranger who climbs up the grove and plucks the highest fruits for me while I'm standing on my veranda with a white gauzy robe on?! Oh honey, it's like Heaven!"), and I want to put it in a more real light. It's not all thorns, and it's definitely not all roses.